Holidays and Memories

I was driving across the state two weeks ago and enjoying the fall colors as I headed over Vail Pass. My radio playing, the road ahead, and the beautiful scenery put me into a very nice, calm state of mind. Then the radio station announced that the next hour would be commercial-free and they were going to play music from “The British Invasion.” Songs from the Beatles, Stones, Animals and many more famous groups from that time began to play. I found myself singing songs I didn’t even realize I remembered the words to. Memories from my younger years came back along with many emotions. Memories of friends, girlfriends, parties, school teachers, and family rose into conscious awareness. All the time I was rocking out and reminiscing, I was flying down the highway at 80 miles an hour. What an amazing organ the brain is to allow me to engage in such a complex skill as driving, while I enjoyed my surroundings and revisited my past!

Brain Processing

Our brains are made up of 100 billion neurons, each forming connections with thousands of other neurons. This complex network of cells allows for the flow of information and energy through the organ. The nervous system converts sensory stimuli from the external environment into patterned electro-chemical signals. These signals have the capacity to modify the efficiency of communication between neurons and to change the actual architecture of the neurons themselves. The ability of neurons to change in response to stimuli is called plasticity. Plasticity is the mechanism that allows for learning, memory and development.

Our brains process environmental signals by modifying the connections between neurons and generating an internal representation of the external world. This is the foundation of memory. Our memories are not stored in just one place, but in various pieces throughout the brain. Visual information is stored in one area, auditory information in another, and emotions have a separate area. However, they are all connected through neural networks.
The way the brain categorizes information is by creating associations between stimuli. So when you hear barking you automatically envision a dog. This capacity to associate allows us to experience the present, compare it to the past and then anticipate the future, which increased our chances of survival. Imagine if we heard the roar of a lion, but had to wait until the lion appeared before reacting. Being so slow and weak as a species, anticipation became a real asset.

Multiple memory systems

Nature has a way of sticking with old designs and then building new functions on top of them. Memory is not a single system, but is composed of different systems that work together—when the system is functioning well. The memory system most of us recognize easily is the verbal system or declarative memory. These are memories that we are conscious of and can declare to ourselves and others.

A second memory system records experiences in sensations, images, emotions and behaviors. These memories function outside our conscious awareness but influence our actions on a daily basis. Information stored in this memory system is not expressed in words, but through internal or external actions. It is in this lower memory system that the procedures for driving are activated and occur without conscious attention.

The Drive

So you see that my driving activated my non-verbal, procedural memory system allowing me to operate the car while the music served as a cue to my declarative memory system to activate the neural pathways connecting the music to lyrics, past experiences and the many emotions connected to those experiences. However, when all of those memories came back to awareness they were changed because now in the future those songs and memories will be associated with that drive through the mountains on a sunny autumn day. Each time we retrieve our memories, they are modified by the current context in which they are recalled. Memories are not like photographs, but are evolving estimates of what actually occurred in the past.

Adverse Experiences

Memory systems function best when we experience a balance between stimulation and recovery. Under these conditions the brain works in an integrated manner allowing information and energy to flow both horizontally and vertically. Physical sensations, emotions, and cognitions are combined with information from the past and anticipated future to direct an adaptive behavioral response. Under adverse conditions, such as neglect or abuse, memory does not function so well.

From a biological perspective, neglect is the lack of developmentally required stimulation and abuse is exposure to prolonged, severe levels of arousal. For many of our clients who have had adverse childhood experiences, the traumatizing event may have taken place prior to the verbal system maturing.  This means that their memories cannot be consciously recalled or communicated verbally. For older children, the adverse event may have interfered with the integration of these systems so memories not only cannot be shared with others but cannot even be verbally declared to the self. These systems are dissociated from each other. The only way to express memories is through body sensations, images or behavior.  For these children, past events are not understood as memories from the past but rather experiences in the present. Our clients tell their stories by the relational situations they recreate.

Holiday Celebrations

This holiday season we should all be aware that for traumatized children and their families, association to the rituals connected to this season (songs, lights, foods, gifts) may trigger feelings of distress, frustration, abandonment and pain. Many of their memories cannot be expressed in words but only re-experienced in relational interactions. The greatest gift that caregivers, teachers, caseworkers, and other professionals involved with this population can give to a child is to be present, attentive, attuned and responsive to their developmental need for both stimulation and soothing. By having a different relational experience this holiday, where others truly hear, validate and respond, will allow vulnerable children to use their past memories in a way that begins to incorporate new meaning for the future.

Keys to a Safe Holiday Season

• Awareness: “What are my associations to the holidays and how might they be different than those of the children in my care?”
• Stay connected to your children so that you can monitor their arousal levels
• Know your children’s stress tolerance levels and structure recovery times before they get overwhelmed. Just because it is a special time of year our stress tolerance levels don’t change. 
• Try and structure quiet relational times to verbally process the day’s events.
• As much as possible try and communicate any upcoming change in structure so your children can anticipate transitions.
• Develop a safety plan so your children can signal you if they are getting overwhelmed, or you can signal them if you see them getting overwhelmed and what steps can take place to find space to recover.
  

All of these steps can be worked on collaboratively and put in place before the holidays begin. Your goal is to create a safe, positive experience for yourself and the children in your care.

Happy Holidays!